I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The best revenge is premature balding
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
