I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
