I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
two words: eviction party
vagina is talking i cant
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
