they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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