Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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