If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
