This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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