i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm gonna fight the coyote
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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