Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
