I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
