so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
