i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
