From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
