they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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