You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
