I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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