i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
