When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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