I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I want to be your penis for a week.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
