Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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