he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
