don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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