i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
