No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
