Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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