so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
