white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
