Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
