If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
