We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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