I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
