Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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