R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
