She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
