I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
