I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
