Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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