Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
