New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
