what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
