whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
