through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
