I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I wish you could order shots online.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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