i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
