Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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