its not stalking. its research.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
