I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
