i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
