Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
