i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
