i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
