I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
