Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He keeps bees of course he's weird
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I have tasted many bathrooms
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize