Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I have feelings that need drinking.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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