I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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