I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
