the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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