dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
