my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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