im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
