Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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