dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
